Monday, February 14, 2011

Dying to Grow

My maternal grandfather and uncle loved farming. Memories of hearing them discuss farming and crops is real. One thing I remember is that for a plant to grow, the seeds need planting. Obvious I know, but hang in here with me. One of the things I learned from my farming grandfather and uncle is that a seed, once planted literally experiences a death first before the new seedling begins to form underground. The symbolism here is what I become intrigued with. 

Dying daily to self is not an easy task. It involves allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal the attitudes, behaviors, and feelings we have participated with that are in opposition to the transforming presence of Jesus. If you have prayed for the Lord to use you, that your life is His, and what you desire is to be more like Him; trust me, He will take your prayer seriously.   

A process of therapy is for people to become aware of their attitudes, behaviors and feelings which have contributed to the immediate problems. Sometimes the process brings a grief response to the surface. “Good grief” I like to call it as it means the person has the opportunity to take responsibility for what they have done and see the new options available to them. Old patterns die, new patterns are born. 

Plant the seed of His Word in your spirit. Expect a "death" (of sorts) to come to pass. In saying good-bye, you will say hello to more of God's character. In this way, I trust we are all dying to grow. 

Thursday, February 10, 2011


I love singing. Singing lifts my spirit; cleanses me within. The sense of completeness that comes from singing to the Lord is overwhelming to me at times. Do I think everyone feels this way? No. However for those of us who enjoy worship, alone or with the church family, you may understand the what I am expressing.

Scriptures encourages us to "Sing O barren one..."! (Galatians 4, Isaiah 54) Please keep in mind that I know the word sing often is translated "rejoice". Avoiding the pitfalls of potential differences in this, my whole point is to encourage all of us to lift our voices, inwardly and outwardly, in worship to the Lord who gives us all we have need of and will continue to do so. There is cleansing, lifting, completeness to be found when we come before the one who has so graciously poured into our lives.

Barrenness in our lives may take many different forms: Emotional, physically, familial, financial, and social. No matter the form of your barren place this day, remember to sing...lift the voice of your spirit in song...lift your voice in song...let the words of your mouth express your gratefulness for the lack of barrenness that God has promised. In so doing, we allow the Lord to take our face in His hands and speak into our lives the very hope, contentedness, and wealth we desire...unfailing love. (Proverbs 19:22)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Sit Still!

Remember being told to “Sit still!”? Sometimes, I think it was my mother's favorite phrase! Those words are difficult for me as I can always think of something that needs to be done. The list in my head seems to never come to an end. As a child, my list was more like this: Tattling on my brothers, telling my sister what to do, or crying “unfair” at just the right time when I felt treated unjustly.  In a desire to be fair to myself and to what I know about children, I wanted to belong and be significant as we all do. I found a way to be special through making sure all my tasks were checked off. Much to the chagrin of my sibs, I took it upon myself to ensure they knew what they were to get done, too. ;-)

As a grown woman and one who is trained as a family therapist, there are patterns of behavior and interactions that I have learned. It is my hope that these skills will help people work towards health in their relationships.  Often, ideas of how things should take place, in what order, by whom, and how frequently run through my mind. It is easy to forget the necessity for and the wisdom of four simple words.  When the Lord recently told me, “Sit still, my daughter.” (Ruth 3:18), you know what? He was right. All my little formulas, ideas and plans for others, although they may contain truth, do not compare to the wisdom that is revealed when one takes time to sit still watching what God puts together. His artistry goes beyond what my finite mind can even begin to comprehend. 

There is a knowing that comes with being quiet and humbled in His presence...a knowing that brings rest and confidence which in turn provides strength. I want that kind of strength as a professional, as a woman and as a child of God.  I pray the same for each of you.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Fear vs Character

Yes, it is true. I am a person who has been run ragged with fear. Well, at least at times anyway. I think this is true for all of us. I express it as "has been" because I came across something that help me remember the source of my confidence. 

Each of us have our areas where we feel the most vulnerable. Maybe you are someone who is afraid of not being accepted. Or, perhaps you are the type of person who would tolerate all kinds of disrespect simply because the thought of conflict feels way too scarey. On the other hand, you may be someone who just plain goes with the crowed because the thought of being alone is the worst thing you can imagine taking place. No matter the fear, God has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. This means he will never race ahead, get distracted by a better situation, or lag behind. This fact is an amazing promise to stand on. Bottom line: you can't get rid of Him. He walks right along side with you, matching your pace every step of the way. 

These four core fears influence our beliefs and our behavior: conflict, abandonment, rejection, and failure. They are not easily faced. The lessons learned in facing the fear does not always come easy. However, that is the point. Character does not come from a life of ease. It comes from being willing to face adversity in light of truth. We come face to face with the distorted beliefs (fears) or behaviors (based in fear) that keep us in unhealthy patterns. The grace and mercy of God is available; Make it a point to trust in that fact. Trust His promise to never leave you nor forsake you. That is the beginning point of your healing.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

34 Years Ago

She is eleven years old.  Relating stories told her by family members about a father she never knew, she drops silent, tears running down her face. We sit together for some time in the silence of her grief. Struggling to talk she manages to get out the words, “I have to get through the tears first.” The simple wisdom of her words seem so clear. She is not concerned so much with understanding why as she is with allowing her grief to be just what it is: grief. 

We rob ourselves of an opportunity to experience God’s love for us when we try to cover our grief with intellectual analysis, busyness, or plain old denial. My response to the death of my brother parallels this. Seven years I attempted to deny the fact I felt grief. Only after allowing the grief to surface and God to comfort me did I embrace the reality that loss exists and is natural. The understanding that followed centers around the impact this life event has on my character, personality, and life’s work. My brother died 34 years ago today. 

In time, this eleven-year-old girl may not grieve as hard for her loss. Meanwhile, her focus is simply to cry and receive comfort. May we unashamedly do the same. Whatever your loss, ask the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort to feel the loss with you. Allow His presence to silently yet lovingly be present. In time, we will be able to declare:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (II Corinthians 1:3-4)